Due to feeling plenty of shame, senseless, and self worthlessness; I went back to Texas. I'm not very proud of how I left, due to it being so sudden, unnoticeable, and unforgiving; but I needed help physically, and mentally. Though my journey in Memphis was long and the feelings, good and bad, are everlasting, I grew into a woman. To me, its funny, because I am now quiet and watching my surroundings, and everyone is waiting on me to speak irrationally, but I am a lost for words. I left Texas with every material thing that made me independent, and came back withering away like sand. But, like sand, I am too great to deteriorate, scattered across the earth, not lost, not stretched thin, but thick, grand, and used to create, guard, mold, and shelter.
This is how I explain why I stayed in a sadistic relationship. I believed I could create a new man, guard him from his past, mold his present, and shelter him from any pain. Though I did do as I planned, I was misunderstood, beaten, stolen, and broken.
It will never happen again...
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