"You Didnt Listen To My Advice Before You Left"

Everyone wanted to know why I don't ... appreciate my grandmother. But that's not the issue. I gladly appreciate her for raising my child while I am ... growing, I just don't appreciate her gossip, and spreading "advice" to others, and leave me with "You didnt take my advice before you left, so I'm not giving you advice." Why speak? Why regard me to others, why ask for random prayers if you, yourself tell me you have no interest in issues and find me to be a "lifetime movie". In my heart, I realize I am alone. I'm not hurt about it, I actually like it. Dennis and remarks from my grandmother reminds me of the comfort I had succeeded in April 2013, when I had my apartment, job at Cricket, and all the time in the world to myself. Does it make me selfish to love the life and liberty of loneliness? Before, then I complained and went looking, and believe me... I found something. Something just as selfish and cruel as the thoughts I played with. But I know now.
The painful ordeal is, I can only blame myself. But with experience comes expectations,  standards, and faith. I once put all my faith in a man... forgetting the true God that held my hand and blessed me. He loved me so much that He didnt forsaken me, He just allowed me to endure and learn that the paths I choose are not what's best for me.
My plans are to start from the bottom,  and I mean one pair of pants, about six shirts, five pair of panties, and a pair of boots. I just have to keep telling myself I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I remember when one door closes, its only because another one is open and I just have to find that door.